Nope, still not sure if you're twins - just so you know.
Until the other day (the 4th) I was planning to birth you at home. No such luck. As I said on bellybelly:
[INSERT BIG SWEARY ANGRY WORDS HERE]But it's okay. I'm used to that fact now. So I'm trying to be allowed to birth at the Mercy Family Birth Centre. Only problem is... they've apparently just changed their rules to disallow women who have had previous stillbirths. My dear darling friend Lily, who is hopefully going to be my doula as well, is coming with me to my first couple of appointments (as well as the hospital tour tonight) to help me fight for it. I don't want to be forced into a hospital birth. Nothing was wrong with your brother except for the dying thing. That really came out wrong, but I'm leaving it because that's how I feel.
The freaking midwife from the hospital just called. I'm out of the STUPID catchment area for their homebirth program. Frick Frick Frick! Hospy birth for me againI really didn't think that would be my downfall
I thought the only reason they could give to turn me down would be the stillbirth thing. [MORE SWEARY WORDS]
If he hadn't died, you wouldn't even be here for me to fight for. I wouldn't have dreamed of trying to get pregnant again so soon after one baby. Why should one failure rule me out for the rest of my life? It's just not fair. Nothing's been fair since he died.
I love you all.
8w0d
